Ridiculous Dinosaur Conspiracy Theories That People Somehow Believe Are True

Apparently, we’re not getting the real story when it comes to dinosaurs. While most people on planet Earth have been content since childhood to take the word of paleontologists, botanists, and researchers from a wide variety of fields, there are a few brave creative thinkers across the world who simply aren’t buying in. According to them, dinosaurs are just a giant lie made up to turn the La Brea Tar Pits into a popular tourist attraction. We’re all just cogs in the dino-industrial complex.

A simple glance through the Internet reveals dozens of examples of blogs, message boards, and even reputable news outlets that are willing to believe in dinosaur conspiracy theories with only a tenuous ounce of “proof.” In the absence of a walking, roaring, towering specimen to point to as definitive proof, scientists have been forced to go head to head with individuals of various intelligence levels who have some pretty unusual ideas about what happened millions of years ago.

Were dinosaurs real? That blissfully ignorant question is just the tip of the iceberg, as everyone from NBA stars to your local janitor have contributed their “expertise” to various conspiracy theories. Here, for your consideration, are some of the craziest things people believe about dinosaurs.

Deep within the recesses of the Congo, there lurks an ancient creature who is feared among the natives. Known as Mokele-mbembe, the creature is said to “be of a brownish gray color...its size approximating that of an elephant. It is said to have a long and very flexible neck. Some spoke of a long muscular tail like that of an alligator.” Supposedly, it's a modern diplodocus.

Unfortunately, according to William Gibbons, the locals are mad superstitious about the creature. They believe that to tell a white outsider about it means death. As of 2002, though, Gibbons is probably totally for real on the trail of Mokele-mbembe. So keep an eye out for the video footage, coming soon to MySpace.

Dinosaurs are just one small part of the active thought oppression being used by the Masons to subtly control society. The proof is in Jurassic Park and the Ice Age films. See, apparently the dinosaur myth is just a fantastic cash cow, and evolution is a necessary part of the Masonic machine.

So, the Masons have spent more than a century using fronts like National Geographic, Rupert Murdoch’s expansive media empire, and 20th Century Fox to perpetuate the myth that giant lizards once roamed the Earth. Apparently it makes sense from a financial standpoint.

There’s a sect of Christianity known as the Young Earth Creationists whose main beliefs focus around the idea that the Earth is only 6,000 years old. And since they use Biblical math to prove their point, there’s very little anyone can do to convince them that they’re wrong. Recently, one member actually sued the Grand Canyon for religious discrimination. And won.

At any rate, one of the primary beliefs of the Young Earth Creationists is that mankind and dinosaurs once lived side by side - like on The Flintstones. One of these YEC guys, Kent Hovind, even opened up a theme park called Dinosaur Adventure Land designed to prove his point. Unfortunately, the IRS shut the park down and put Hovind in jail over some silly tax evasion stuff.

Hovind claimed that the IRS was targeting religious groups, yet the IRS said that Hovind’s group wasn’t actually a real religious group, which is why he still had to pay taxes.

In a response to his own Reddit post, user tigereyeearth explained his own reasoning behind the idea that dinosaurs couldn't have possibly existed. His simple question: “is it not odd that not a single drop of crude oil is discovered with any dinosaur skeleton?[sic].” Quite obviously, according to tigereyeearth, dinosaurs are just a marketing scheme created to make us all believe that fossil fuels are scarce so that big oil can drive up the prices. In fact, oil is a naturally replenishing resource that sits below the Earth’s oceans, “just like oil sits below water (or vinegar) in a salad dressing bottle.”

Either that very plausible theory is totally true, or oil isn’t just dinosaur bones.

According to one man on the street, dinosaurs weren’t killed off by some comet, and they definitely didn't survive the blast and end up evolving into dumb birds. No, dinosaurs actually fled underground when the meteor struck.

Once in their subterranean haven, these gigantic beasts with comparatively pea-sized brains managed to survive and evolve into reptilian humanoids. In the intervening millennia, they’ve created “vast underground cities around the world.”

It’s hard not to hear that one without picturing Earl Sinclair and his family. In that context, an underground race of reptilian creatures isn’t such a crazy notion.

The general contention among scientists is that the dinosaurs survived the infamous asteroid and slowly evolved into the creatures we know today as birds. Of course, there are still several people who think that the asteroid kicked-off dino extinction. On the more distinctly plausible end of the conspiracy theory spectrum, one geologist believes that the asteroid came along to put the final nail in the dinosaurs’ coffin.

According to Princeton University paleontologist Gerta Keller, a series of cataclysmic volcanic eruptions nearly half a million years before the asteroid were the real culprits. It was global warming, not Armageddon that got 'em.

According to the AtlanteanConspiracy.com, dinosaurs are a hoax that was invented in the mid-1800s because evolution couldn't be proven without them (for some reason). The proof is obvious all thanks to a series of unanswerable questions posed by the author, which must be smart because they sound so simple.

For instance, if dinosaurs existed, why weren’t they discovered before the 19th century? How was a scientist able to hypothesize a dinosaur without ever having seen one? How were scientists able to theorize an entire giant species based on a couple teeth? Obviously it was just a scientific conspiracy to launch the hugely profitable dino-hunting industry and lend legitimacy to the burgeoning theory of evolution. Duh.

As if famine, war, murder, rape, general nastiness, and the ongoing question of why bad things happen to good people weren’t enough to test the faith of Christians in the modern world, there is an incredibly small number of people who believe that Satan has nothing better or more diabolical to do with his time than to plant fake animal bones deep within the Earth and wait for humankind to wander off the path of righteous.

Actually, it’s a pretty solid claim.

Somewhere near the border of Laos and China, there is supposedly a large, flying reptile in hiding. For once, video footage was actually posted to the Internet showing the supposed dragon flying above the mountains without a care in the world. The video netted more than 100,000 views.

Then, some smart aleck said the whole thing was faked with CGI - of course, even that claim wasn’t enough to convince everyone that it was fake. Some viewers maintain that the Jurassic holdover is absolutely real.

A paleobiologist at Florida State University (wait, don’t start laughing yet) is firmly convinced that dinosaurs went extinct in the wake of the asteroid strike because they weren’t getting out of their eggs fast enough. Gregory Erickson believes that once the asteroid strike happened, dinosaurs went extinct only because they couldn’t replenish their numbers fast enough.

According to Erickson, dinosaurs may have taken as long as six months to hatch from their eggs. That meant that parents were tied to one spot for several months in order to care for their young, and that dino numbers were far too low to replenish.